My Struggles With A Meaningless World... A Course In Miracles Lessons 13 & 14

Hey guys! Sorry i didn't post yesterday but i so needed that night out with my friend. I had a blast, rotated between my "drinks" and water and was able to wake up this morning feeling pretty amazing actually. But let us get back to business here.

Lesson 13 really hit it home for me. While i wouldn't say i yet recognize that this world is meaningless (as i type this im still like "how can it be?") going through these exercises in trying to recognize that this world is meaningless has aroused intense anxiety in me. I won't re-hash the anxiety i had during lesson 8 but even just trying to grasp the concept of this world being meaningless brings up a lot of intense emotions for me. I did like though how it explained why we might feel this anxiety and it actually helped this lesson go relatively smoothly for me. 

Lesson 14 was kind of a different story though...

Ok, i could initially understand that "god did not create a meaningless world" because why would anything meaningless be created to begin with. But again the exercise in this lesson brought up a lot of intense emotions and anxiety for me as i started to do it. Lets look at one of my examples... say starving children. They are out there, it sucks and is unfair that they are starving, how can they be meaningless and therefor not be real. Why are they here in this world then?

I know, i know, its the same non understanding that comes up in all of the lessons that i cant really grasp. The only difference now is that even if the lessons do bring about bouts of anxiety i can recognize the emotion, realize that i do not have to understand or even "get" the lesson so long as i just do them, and then move on... it's going to be a long, hard, journey but the rewards and miracles will be worth it.

*Like the sparkly purple pen i used? I couldn't find a regular pen in my room and this was the first one that i found. Kind of makes the lessons fun. I should go out this next week and look for more.*

^---A fan made video to Yellowcard's song "Believe." The refrain is a personal mantra of mine that i repeat to myself when things seem to suck.