And Her Heart Finally Told Her To Let It All Go - ACIM Lessons 25 & 26

While the post title has more to do with lesson 25 (though it deals with both lessons) it's also been my personal mantra as of late and is kind of what lead me to start working through ACIM.

(And if you have 8 minutes to spare this is a youtube video i did explaining why).

I know it is obvious from these notes and my pasts notes that i am not quite ready to "let it all go" just yet, but if you knew me last year holy cow have i been making strides.

Now, i like playing with markers, and crayons and paints as much as the next creative person, but there was actually a reason why i brought out the markers today...

Today's lesson was a two parter... First we were to come up with we were concerned about (obviously my notes are just a sample of my exercises... if i wrote down everything my journal might be as big as ACIM... lol). Then we were to write down all the outcomes we were concerned would happen. Seeing as this could get messy (and it kind of did... sorry for the tiny handwriting this time around) i decided to color coordinate both parts so you could more easily see what went with what.

(And while i totally didn't put the connection together until i started typing this) You'll notice one of the things i was concerned about was this whole concept of letting go. Letting go in regards to what ACIM is trying to teach me to be able to do, and letting go of aspects of my life that are no longer serving me and making me happy. Sometimes i wonder if im doing the right thing about letting go of these aspects of my life. For those things/people i do decide to give up, especially those that have been with me for a period of time, it almost feels like im losing a part of myself. (Nevermind that i may be losing a part of myself, but its a part of myself that i never needed or no longer need). Needed or not, letting go of any part of yourself is a little bit (or a lot) scary.

When i do have these second guessing moments (and i actually had one earlier today) of things i know i shouldn't be second guessing, i just have to realize that it is my ego talking. It is my ego trying to keep me in its grips of fear and keeping me away from love. And when i realize this sometimes i just need to tell my ego to f#ck off ;)