Savoring This Heart That's Healing - A Course in Miracles Lessons 28 & 29

I will give virtual brownie points to anyone that can tell me (without googling... no cheating here) what song inspired this blog post title. Don't know? I'll show you guys the video at the end of the blog (and no scrolling down either to cheat).

Now i know i was having a little bit of difficulty with lesson 27 and the "above all else i want to see" because i kept thinking "What? Why do i want to see above all else?" But lesson 28 seemed a lot simpler and easier to understand for me. Maybe because my ~ing was on big time from just coming back from the HerFuture DC area PowerPosse meetup.

It was seriously awesome. It officially started around 2pm i think on Saturday. I didn't get to Teasim (their chai is the best... a lot of us had it) till 2:30 and even then we were still there for a good two hours chit chatting about HerFuture, Gabby, A Course In Miracles, and a lot of other random stuff. (Including brainstorming a DC ACIM in person study group... yay). Also what was really funny was i think half of us brought our copies of ACIM with us. Which actually inspired our next little venture after Teaism.

Kelly had a smaller version of ACIM then most of us that she said she got at Barnes and Noble in their bargain books section. Well hell, im not a fan of lugging around the big blue book all the time so i suggested we walk the few blocks to B&N after. (Plus some of the girls wanted to get the copy of Experience Life with Gabby on the cover). Sure enough this particular B&N (this was not the one Kelly got hers from) had a nice little stack of the smaller ACIM's (since they're not the FFIP versions they dont have the supplemental info which is not nesc needed) and i think 3 or 4 of us got em. (Plus the B&N version was only around $13... freekin awesome!)

After our little B&N trip most of us parted ways (loved all the hugs... lots of hugs were given). Me and Claudia (If you're on HerFuture totally look her up) decided to go to the local Bed Bath and Beyond to find the infamous DC Metro Map shower curtain! (They still have them by the way. When i move out of DC i so have to get one for my new place). We then bonded over our mutual love for coffee before we decided to part ways.

Oh wait a minute? I'm supposed to be talking about my lessons aren't I? Whoops...

Lesson 28 was kind of a continuation/add-on of lesson 27. And if you read the little purple blurb it pretty much sums up my thoughts about this lesson in a nutshell. "Once i got over the above all else this and yesterdays lessons started to sit with me better."

Some people (i kind of include myself in this category) may have some issues with some of the religious wordage used in ACIM. If "God" doesn't sit will with you, substitute "the universe" for it. (Another reason why i was drawn to Gabby's books, was her alternative ways at looking at ACIM and making it more user friendly). Or as we said at the meetup a lot this past saturday "fake it till you make it." The whole point is to realize (or attempt to realize) that since we are all connected whatever higher power you ascribe to is also IN everything. (And don't ask why the lesson reminded me of the movie "The Craft," it just did).

Just a little reminder... no ACIM lessons tomorrow on my blog. Tuesday will be another double lesson post because Monday's are Meatless Mondays here over at Caffeinated Cupcake and i will try to tempt you with yummy meatless goodness.

And for those of you still wondering about the song... here you go. (The song also applies heavily to Lesson 29 i believe... which is why i used part of it as the blog post title).

Shout Out Saturday

So im changing up the format of my Saturday posts. For the first two weeks that i did it (since i took last week off because my mom came to visit) i focused on one specific person and told you guys why i think they're awesome and why you should know them. Then i got to thinking, in addition to people there are online sites, and books, and forums, and companies and products, etc that i have come across that i think are fantastic. They should be able to get a shout out too! So now instead of saturdays being "people you should know" they will now be "shout out saturdays" where i will give you guys a heads up on people/places/products i think are awesome.

This weekends post features some people i may have already introduced to you but that i want to help out in their endeavors and others who i have not featured but have been doing awesome things.

You still have three days from today to buy a raffle ticket to help Katie Hoffman launch iAmKatieHoffman.com! Tickets are $5 a piece with a portion of each ticket going to FeedingAmerica (and the winner getting an awesome iPod touch). If you donate $25 you get 5 tickets and a custom made inspiration card and if you donate $100 you get 20 tickets and a free 1 hour life coaching session!

One of my favorite people on twitter, PureGlow16 is in the Hot Raw Chef Valentines Day contest and could use her vote. In her 5 minute video she teaches you how to make a wicked simple fudge recipe that i can not wait to try out. (And her newest post on her blog has a ton of mouth watering recipes).

(I hope its ok i borrowed your photo, if 

not i will take it down asap!)

I actually came across Jenny Sansouci of HealthyCrush via a twitter suggestion when i was asking about juice recipes (i am still madly in love with my roomies juicer). When i came across her site she had just finished a juicing fast and had so many amazing recipes that it was the perfect resource for me. She is also a health coach that just released a short e-book called "The Burning Questions."

In it she answers some of the most frequently asked questions she gets as a health coach and a listing (including links) of some of her favorite healthy resources. Best of all, it is only $4. Much cheaper then a healthy coaching session (which i would love to do with her some day when i have the funds).

And in case you were wondering, no i am not getting a commission by talking about this and no i was not given a copy of this e-book. I bought it myself because i think she has an awesome site with great information and i really wanted to read it.

Later on today (as in saturday the 28th) Goddess Leonie of GoddessGuidebook.com is having a free tele-seminare on how to make your 2012 divine. It starts at 5pm EST so hopefully some of you will see this post before then. I got the email a few days ago about the call info so for those of you that are interested here you go!

Call in details ::

(530) 881-8300

Code to get in: 435600

(This is a US based #)

Well, i hope you all have an enjoyable weekend! I actually need to get ready for the Washington DC area HerFuture meetup! (Am so excited to meet so many amazing women that are on a similar path that i am on). 

Above All Else, I Don't Know What I Want - A Course In Miracles Lesson 27

I really need to carve out a blogging schedule to avoid these late night postings. (The later i post the more tired i am which means the shorter the post). I know, i could always do two lessons tomorrow but on saturdays i like to do my shout out posts. If i tripled up on Sunday then that could be to long of a post then i would even want to read (plus i have work and kickball on sunday so that is already eating up a lot of time). Either way, when i do come up with a blogging schedule i will be sure to let all of you know so you know what days to check in here for the posts that you like.

Just reading the theme of the lesson started to make me feel uneasy. I know that when it talks about "seeing" its not referring to what we do with our eyes (or what we perceive that we do with our eyes... depending on how far along in these lessons you are). It just all of a sudden seems (to me) that the lessons all of a sudden got "heavier" and i am having a really hard problem digesting them. I wish i had more time during my days to sit in meditation and ponder but with being a full time college student, working 30+ hours a week, on top of everything else i don't. (Which is again another good reason to come up with some kind of schedule).

*sigh*

And Her Heart Finally Told Her To Let It All Go - ACIM Lessons 25 & 26

While the post title has more to do with lesson 25 (though it deals with both lessons) it's also been my personal mantra as of late and is kind of what lead me to start working through ACIM.

(And if you have 8 minutes to spare this is a youtube video i did explaining why).

I know it is obvious from these notes and my pasts notes that i am not quite ready to "let it all go" just yet, but if you knew me last year holy cow have i been making strides.

Now, i like playing with markers, and crayons and paints as much as the next creative person, but there was actually a reason why i brought out the markers today...

Today's lesson was a two parter... First we were to come up with we were concerned about (obviously my notes are just a sample of my exercises... if i wrote down everything my journal might be as big as ACIM... lol). Then we were to write down all the outcomes we were concerned would happen. Seeing as this could get messy (and it kind of did... sorry for the tiny handwriting this time around) i decided to color coordinate both parts so you could more easily see what went with what.

(And while i totally didn't put the connection together until i started typing this) You'll notice one of the things i was concerned about was this whole concept of letting go. Letting go in regards to what ACIM is trying to teach me to be able to do, and letting go of aspects of my life that are no longer serving me and making me happy. Sometimes i wonder if im doing the right thing about letting go of these aspects of my life. For those things/people i do decide to give up, especially those that have been with me for a period of time, it almost feels like im losing a part of myself. (Nevermind that i may be losing a part of myself, but its a part of myself that i never needed or no longer need). Needed or not, letting go of any part of yourself is a little bit (or a lot) scary.

When i do have these second guessing moments (and i actually had one earlier today) of things i know i shouldn't be second guessing, i just have to realize that it is my ego talking. It is my ego trying to keep me in its grips of fear and keeping me away from love. And when i realize this sometimes i just need to tell my ego to f#ck off ;)

From Crying to Contemplation - A Course In Miracles Lessons 23 & 24

Some of you may or may not have seen the tweet i sent out late last night but lesson 23 literally made me cry. I mean crying as in i actually had tears rolling down my face... that kind of crying. Before i go further into it let me show you my notes so that you can possibly see why. 

The notes will probably make more sense if you look at lesson 23 in your book (or google it, its out there). I was totally loving the part about escaping the world i see by giving up attack thoughts (hell, thats why i started meditating and it has made work 100% better) but then i came across line 4 in paragraph 3...

"Is not fantasy a better word for such a process and hallucinations a more appropriate term for the result?"

I think i just right away took offense to the term hallucination and just kind of lost it for a little bit. Before i could even finish the lesson i had to do this to kind of help calm my nerves...

I brought down some of my favorite stuffed animals (who also happen to be the main characters in my NaNoWriMo novel, but that is a post for another day) from my desk shelf and put them on my bed. Part of it was just getting them off my shelf and holding them made me feel better, and the other part was knowing they were right by my pillow and i could cuddle them if i needed/wanted to. Yes, i know im 28 but stuffed animals have in one way or another always been part of my heeling process. 

But back to the lesson... once i got over my lil break down over the term "hallucination" i was able to get through the rest of the lesson fine. I mean who doesn't want to leave for somewhere better? And if all we have to do is give up attack thoughts to get there then im on board!

And then after tonights State of the Union (for those of you living in the US) i did my notes for lesson 24...

I can happily say that there were no minor freak outs or any crying during this lesson. Though i will say this lesson did require a bit more time and thought (i always go over the time they give me, but it just kind of happens). Also the reasons for the numbers was to actually help out those of you that are seeing my notes on my blog or over at HerFuture or MiracleShare. Since there was more then one blank to fill out i numbered everything so you could put the corresponding word/phrase where it needed to go. Yes i know i have four for all of them but there are only three blanks. The lesson said to cover as many outcomes as that occur to me so i did. (More came later to me but i only had so much space to work with). 

I will have to say the one where i talk about "myself" really started to stir up a lot of shit (though not nesc bad shit) in me. While i would like to say that i am recovered (though really can you every be recovered... is it more like a lifelong recovery process) from my eating disorder i still sometimes have those thoughts that are like "if my weight gets to so many pounds im gonna have to do something about it." And while i have been able to give away most of my eating disorder related books (fiction and biographical novels) for some reason i cant seem to give up my copy of Wasted or THIN (my recovery related books are obviously keepers). Its like they have sentimental value to me (and i made a ton of notes in the margins of Wasted) and if i gave them up i would be giving up a part of me. Just another part of me that i really have to work on. 

But now i am sleepy so i therefor can not come up with a neat and tidy way to wrap up this blog post other then leave you with a youtube video of one of the songs that i love to fall asleep to...

Story of the Year - "Anthem of Our Dying Day.

Ya, i know i fall asleep to not so typical "sleepy time"

music but that is just kind of how i am. I also love

to close my eyes and listen to this song during the day. The 

imagery my mind comes up with is amazing. 

Meatless Monday's... "Corn Dogs" and "French Fries

So apparently, along with it being meatless monday it's national pie day. I'm sorry, but i refuse to celebrate pie day till March 14th. If you don't get it i would highly recommend googling pie day march 14... then you'll get it. Today's tasty goodness i just literally finished eating and it was yum...

So this past weekend my mom was in town and she took me grocery shopping. Our store had Morning Star products on sale (which i dont eat to often because of the price) so my mom told me to grab a few boxes. I saw these corn-dogs and was like "oh my gosh i have to get these." (And yes, i know i feature a lot of processed stuff. But hey, it's a step in the right direction). I usually like to cook things in the oven but i was cooking my "fries" so i just zapped my corn-dog in microwave for 1.5 minutes, drizzled it with honey mustard and dug in. I am personally a fan but if you're not into the fake meats then this obv wouldn't be for you.

Now my french fries on the other hand...

Technically they're baked sweet potato wedges but thats just all semantics right? I can't remember what website i got the recipe off of (i wish i did so i could credit them) but i will try my best to give you guys my recipe (i modified it a bit).

• Pre-heat the oven to 415 degrees F.
• Peel and cut up (however you like it) one sweet potato and throw all the pieces in a bowl
• Throw in around a tbs of whatever oil you have on hand (i've used vegetable, olive and coconut oil. All turn out well but coconut is my favorite) and sprinkle in some salt and pepper to taste (or whatever spices you feel like throwing in).
• Lay them out evenly on a baking sheet and throw it in the oven for 25-30 minutes (depending on your oven and depending on how crispy you want them).
• Every 9-10 minutes turn the pieces over so that they can evenly cook through.
• And voila! Tasty baked sweet potato wedges!

Now i usually like making a green juice for mid day when im home to power me through my evening classes but sometimes you just want some comfort food that is similar to what you used to eat as a kid. 

Are We Getting Closer Or Are We Just Getting More Lost - A Course In Miracles Lessons 21 & 22

Sorry for my absence yesterday but i was enjoying spending some time with my mom. We did brunch, hung out and she got me lots of tasty goodness from the grocery store and from my favorite little organic market. But now that i am here lets move on to the lessons now shall we?

i like how with lesson 21 it was "i am determined..." Meaning, us wanting to see this life/world/everything differently is something that we are adamantly working on. We are not expected to know or to see things differently yet, we just have to be willingly working on it.

Hehe, and as for my little side notes on the bottom. I keep hearing and reading in various places that it takes 21 days to make something a habit. And since lesson 21 was 21 days in a row of me doing these lessons i wanted to celebrate a little in my notes. As for the "Clean" comment... I keep coming across the program (twitter, groups/people i know through her future) and it keeps kind of calling to me (if that makes any sense). The more that i read about the more i want to do it. (The program in the book, not the program that comes with the kit they sell on their site). And this time around (unlike in the past when i had major issues with food) i actually want to do it for all the right reasons (and i love how while they give you recipes and what not its not very portion sized controlling... i need that little bit of release). I think im going to order the book when i order my last textbook tomorrow...

Lesson 22 made me happy and kind of sad all at the same time. It made me really happy because it gives me that glimmer of hope that the life that im living now is not it. That the world im "seeing" is just a projection of my attack minded thoughts. Now, actually truly believing this is a completely different story and i am far from it. But i like the fact that it can at least (for now) make me feel hopeful.

The reasons it makes me sad? It's what i have bubbled in the middle (and is italics in my book). I know the course is trying to teach me that to truly be happy i need to understand that all of this around me isn't real. As much as i think my life sucks at times not all of it is bad and its hard to fathom that that the good things aren't real (or that they are somehow a form of vengeance).

And as for the title of this blog post? Well i've had Rise Against's "Swing Life Away" stuck in my head for a very long time and its just been popping into my head a lot recently. I know they are a very political band (part of the reason why i love them) but if you want to stretch it or interpret it differently you can kind of make it ACIM related. (Maybe if i have some free time this week i'll dissect the song and point out what parts i think are applicable to what parts of the course).