Sorry for no post yesterday! But i had a really s#itty evening in class so all i wanted to do was veg and watch tv with the roomie. (Good thing i did my lesson 30 earlier in the day or who knows if i would have done it. Who am i kidding, i would have made myself do it no matter what kind of mood i was in). Today is much better though as i had a much needed skype chat with the bf (who is deployed) and made plans for a saturday evening in (that we've planned so far at least) with a fellow HerFuture member. (Apparently the Universe realized i needed more girl friends... lol).
But on to the lessons...
i STILL have the flyleaf song stuck in my head and i have a feeling it is not going anywhere anytime soon...
And yay for getting my first months worth of lessons completed. (By completed i mean working through them. I still have a lot of lessons to go and a lot to learn from the lessons i've worked through).
I especially like todays lesson because i feel the subject is something i work with on an everyday basis when i do my morning meditation before work. (I'm not gonna lie "and not a single f#ck was given that day" has been one of my favorite intentions as of late).
It is also a great reminder to be mindful of when my ego tries to convince me that i am a victim in whatever situation that i am in (be it at work, school, in general life, etc). Especially now that work has become the ego's new stomping grounds.
I will give virtual brownie points to anyone that can tell me (without googling... no cheating here) what song inspired this blog post title. Don't know? I'll show you guys the video at the end of the blog (and no scrolling down either to cheat).
Now i know i was having a little bit of difficulty with lesson 27 and the "above all else i want to see" because i kept thinking "What? Why do i want to see above all else?" But lesson 28 seemed a lot simpler and easier to understand for me. Maybe because my ~ing was on big time from just coming back from the HerFuture DC area PowerPosse meetup.
It was seriously awesome. It officially started around 2pm i think on Saturday. I didn't get to Teasim (their chai is the best... a lot of us had it) till 2:30 and even then we were still there for a good two hours chit chatting about HerFuture, Gabby, A Course In Miracles, and a lot of other random stuff. (Including brainstorming a DC ACIM in person study group... yay). Also what was really funny was i think half of us brought our copies of ACIM with us. Which actually inspired our next little venture after Teaism.
Kelly had a smaller version of ACIM then most of us that she said she got at Barnes and Noble in their bargain books section. Well hell, im not a fan of lugging around the big blue book all the time so i suggested we walk the few blocks to B&N after. (Plus some of the girls wanted to get the copy of Experience Life with Gabby on the cover). Sure enough this particular B&N (this was not the one Kelly got hers from) had a nice little stack of the smaller ACIM's (since they're not the FFIP versions they dont have the supplemental info which is not nesc needed) and i think 3 or 4 of us got em. (Plus the B&N version was only around $13... freekin awesome!)
After our little B&N trip most of us parted ways (loved all the hugs... lots of hugs were given). Me and Claudia (If you're on HerFuture totally look her up) decided to go to the local Bed Bath and Beyond to find the infamous DC Metro Map shower curtain! (They still have them by the way. When i move out of DC i so have to get one for my new place). We then bonded over our mutual love for coffee before we decided to part ways.
Oh wait a minute? I'm supposed to be talking about my lessons aren't I? Whoops...
Lesson 28 was kind of a continuation/add-on of lesson 27. And if you read the little purple blurb it pretty much sums up my thoughts about this lesson in a nutshell. "Once i got over the above all else this and yesterdays lessons started to sit with me better."
Some people (i kind of include myself in this category) may have some issues with some of the religious wordage used in ACIM. If "God" doesn't sit will with you, substitute "the universe" for it. (Another reason why i was drawn to Gabby's books, was her alternative ways at looking at ACIM and making it more user friendly). Or as we said at the meetup a lot this past saturday "fake it till you make it." The whole point is to realize (or attempt to realize) that since we are all connected whatever higher power you ascribe to is also IN everything. (And don't ask why the lesson reminded me of the movie "The Craft," it just did).
Just a little reminder... no ACIM lessons tomorrow on my blog. Tuesday will be another double lesson post because Monday's are Meatless Mondays here over at Caffeinated Cupcake and i will try to tempt you with yummy meatless goodness.
And for those of you still wondering about the song... here you go. (The song also applies heavily to Lesson 29 i believe... which is why i used part of it as the blog post title).
So im changing up the format of my Saturday posts. For the first two weeks that i did it (since i took last week off because my mom came to visit) i focused on one specific person and told you guys why i think they're awesome and why you should know them. Then i got to thinking, in addition to people there are online sites, and books, and forums, and companies and products, etc that i have come across that i think are fantastic. They should be able to get a shout out too! So now instead of saturdays being "people you should know" they will now be "shout out saturdays" where i will give you guys a heads up on people/places/products i think are awesome.
This weekends post features some people i may have already introduced to you but that i want to help out in their endeavors and others who i have not featured but have been doing awesome things.
You still have three days from today to buy a raffle ticket to help Katie Hoffman launch iAmKatieHoffman.com! Tickets are $5 a piece with a portion of each ticket going to FeedingAmerica (and the winner getting an awesome iPod touch). If you donate $25 you get 5 tickets and a custom made inspiration card and if you donate $100 you get 20 tickets and a free 1 hour life coaching session!
One of my favorite people on twitter, PureGlow16 is in the Hot Raw Chef Valentines Day contest and could use her vote. In her 5 minute video she teaches you how to make a wicked simple fudge recipe that i can not wait to try out. (And her newest post on her blog has a ton of mouth watering recipes).
(I hope its ok i borrowed your photo, if
not i will take it down asap!)
I actually came across Jenny Sansouci of HealthyCrush via a twitter suggestion when i was asking about juice recipes (i am still madly in love with my roomies juicer). When i came across her site she had just finished a juicing fast and had so many amazing recipes that it was the perfect resource for me. She is also a health coach that just released a short e-book called "The Burning Questions."
In it she answers some of the most frequently asked questions she gets as a health coach and a listing (including links) of some of her favorite healthy resources. Best of all, it is only $4. Much cheaper then a healthy coaching session (which i would love to do with her some day when i have the funds).
And in case you were wondering, no i am not getting a commission by talking about this and no i was not given a copy of this e-book. I bought it myself because i think she has an awesome site with great information and i really wanted to read it.
Later on today (as in saturday the 28th) Goddess Leonie of GoddessGuidebook.com is having a free tele-seminare on how to make your 2012 divine. It starts at 5pm EST so hopefully some of you will see this post before then. I got the email a few days ago about the call info so for those of you that are interested here you go!
Well, i hope you all have an enjoyable weekend! I actually need to get ready for the Washington DC area HerFuture meetup! (Am so excited to meet so many amazing women that are on a similar path that i am on).
I really need to carve out a blogging schedule to avoid these late night postings. (The later i post the more tired i am which means the shorter the post). I know, i could always do two lessons tomorrow but on saturdays i like to do my shout out posts. If i tripled up on Sunday then that could be to long of a post then i would even want to read (plus i have work and kickball on sunday so that is already eating up a lot of time). Either way, when i do come up with a blogging schedule i will be sure to let all of you know so you know what days to check in here for the posts that you like.
Just reading the theme of the lesson started to make me feel uneasy. I know that when it talks about "seeing" its not referring to what we do with our eyes (or what we perceive that we do with our eyes... depending on how far along in these lessons you are). It just all of a sudden seems (to me) that the lessons all of a sudden got "heavier" and i am having a really hard problem digesting them. I wish i had more time during my days to sit in meditation and ponder but with being a full time college student, working 30+ hours a week, on top of everything else i don't. (Which is again another good reason to come up with some kind of schedule).
While the post title has more to do with lesson 25 (though it deals with both lessons) it's also been my personal mantra as of late and is kind of what lead me to start working through ACIM.
(And if you have 8 minutes to spare this is a youtube video i did explaining why).
I know it is obvious from these notes and my pasts notes that i am not quite ready to "let it all go" just yet, but if you knew me last year holy cow have i been making strides.
Now, i like playing with markers, and crayons and paints as much as the next creative person, but there was actually a reason why i brought out the markers today...
Today's lesson was a two parter... First we were to come up with we were concerned about (obviously my notes are just a sample of my exercises... if i wrote down everything my journal might be as big as ACIM... lol). Then we were to write down all the outcomes we were concerned would happen. Seeing as this could get messy (and it kind of did... sorry for the tiny handwriting this time around) i decided to color coordinate both parts so you could more easily see what went with what.
(And while i totally didn't put the connection together until i started typing this) You'll notice one of the things i was concerned about was this whole concept of letting go. Letting go in regards to what ACIM is trying to teach me to be able to do, and letting go of aspects of my life that are no longer serving me and making me happy. Sometimes i wonder if im doing the right thing about letting go of these aspects of my life. For those things/people i do decide to give up, especially those that have been with me for a period of time, it almost feels like im losing a part of myself. (Nevermind that i may be losing a part of myself, but its a part of myself that i never needed or no longer need). Needed or not, letting go of any part of yourself is a little bit (or a lot) scary.
When i do have these second guessing moments (and i actually had one earlier today) of things i know i shouldn't be second guessing, i just have to realize that it is my ego talking. It is my ego trying to keep me in its grips of fear and keeping me away from love. And when i realize this sometimes i just need to tell my ego to f#ck off ;)
Some of you may or may not have seen the tweet i sent out late last night but lesson 23 literally made me cry. I mean crying as in i actually had tears rolling down my face... that kind of crying. Before i go further into it let me show you my notes so that you can possibly see why.
The notes will probably make more sense if you look at lesson 23 in your book (or google it, its out there). I was totally loving the part about escaping the world i see by giving up attack thoughts (hell, thats why i started meditating and it has made work 100% better) but then i came across line 4 in paragraph 3...
"Is not fantasy a better word for such a process and hallucinations a more appropriate term for the result?"
I think i just right away took offense to the term hallucination and just kind of lost it for a little bit. Before i could even finish the lesson i had to do this to kind of help calm my nerves...
I brought down some of my favorite stuffed animals (who also happen to be the main characters in my NaNoWriMo novel, but that is a post for another day) from my desk shelf and put them on my bed. Part of it was just getting them off my shelf and holding them made me feel better, and the other part was knowing they were right by my pillow and i could cuddle them if i needed/wanted to. Yes, i know im 28 but stuffed animals have in one way or another always been part of my heeling process.
But back to the lesson... once i got over my lil break down over the term "hallucination" i was able to get through the rest of the lesson fine. I mean who doesn't want to leave for somewhere better? And if all we have to do is give up attack thoughts to get there then im on board!
And then after tonights State of the Union (for those of you living in the US) i did my notes for lesson 24...
I can happily say that there were no minor freak outs or any crying during this lesson. Though i will say this lesson did require a bit more time and thought (i always go over the time they give me, but it just kind of happens). Also the reasons for the numbers was to actually help out those of you that are seeing my notes on my blog or over at HerFuture or MiracleShare. Since there was more then one blank to fill out i numbered everything so you could put the corresponding word/phrase where it needed to go. Yes i know i have four for all of them but there are only three blanks. The lesson said to cover as many outcomes as that occur to me so i did. (More came later to me but i only had so much space to work with).
I will have to say the one where i talk about "myself" really started to stir up a lot of shit (though not nesc bad shit) in me. While i would like to say that i am recovered (though really can you every be recovered... is it more like a lifelong recovery process) from my eating disorder i still sometimes have those thoughts that are like "if my weight gets to so many pounds im gonna have to do something about it." And while i have been able to give away most of my eating disorder related books (fiction and biographical novels) for some reason i cant seem to give up my copy of Wasted or THIN (my recovery related books are obviously keepers). Its like they have sentimental value to me (and i made a ton of notes in the margins of Wasted) and if i gave them up i would be giving up a part of me. Just another part of me that i really have to work on.
But now i am sleepy so i therefor can not come up with a neat and tidy way to wrap up this blog post other then leave you with a youtube video of one of the songs that i love to fall asleep to...
Story of the Year - "Anthem of Our Dying Day.
Ya, i know i fall asleep to not so typical "sleepy time"
music but that is just kind of how i am. I also love
to close my eyes and listen to this song during the day. The
So apparently, along with it being meatless monday it's national pie day. I'm sorry, but i refuse to celebrate pie day till March 14th. If you don't get it i would highly recommend googling pie day march 14... then you'll get it. Today's tasty goodness i just literally finished eating and it was yum...
So this past weekend my mom was in town and she took me grocery shopping. Our store had Morning Star products on sale (which i dont eat to often because of the price) so my mom told me to grab a few boxes. I saw these corn-dogs and was like "oh my gosh i have to get these." (And yes, i know i feature a lot of processed stuff. But hey, it's a step in the right direction). I usually like to cook things in the oven but i was cooking my "fries" so i just zapped my corn-dog in microwave for 1.5 minutes, drizzled it with honey mustard and dug in. I am personally a fan but if you're not into the fake meats then this obv wouldn't be for you.
Now my french fries on the other hand...
Technically they're baked sweet potato wedges but thats just all semantics right? I can't remember what website i got the recipe off of (i wish i did so i could credit them) but i will try my best to give you guys my recipe (i modified it a bit).
Pre-heat the oven to 415 degrees F.
Peel and cut up (however you like it) one sweet potato and throw all the pieces in a bowl
Throw in around a tbs of whatever oil you have on hand (i've used vegetable, olive and coconut oil. All turn out well but coconut is my favorite) and sprinkle in some salt and pepper to taste (or whatever spices you feel like throwing in).
Lay them out evenly on a baking sheet and throw it in the oven for 25-30 minutes (depending on your oven and depending on how crispy you want them).
Every 9-10 minutes turn the pieces over so that they can evenly cook through.
And voila! Tasty baked sweet potato wedges!
Now i usually like making a green juice for mid day when im home to power me through my evening classes but sometimes you just want some comfort food that is similar to what you used to eat as a kid.
Sorry for my absence yesterday but i was enjoying spending some time with my mom. We did brunch, hung out and she got me lots of tasty goodness from the grocery store and from my favorite little organic market. But now that i am here lets move on to the lessons now shall we?
i like how with lesson 21 it was "i am determined..." Meaning, us wanting to see this life/world/everything differently is something that we are adamantly working on. We are not expected to know or to see things differently yet, we just have to be willingly working on it.
Hehe, and as for my little side notes on the bottom. I keep hearing and reading in various places that it takes 21 days to make something a habit. And since lesson 21 was 21 days in a row of me doing these lessons i wanted to celebrate a little in my notes. As for the "Clean" comment... I keep coming across the program (twitter, groups/people i know through her future) and it keeps kind of calling to me (if that makes any sense). The more that i read about the more i want to do it. (The program in the book, not the program that comes with the kit they sell on their site). And this time around (unlike in the past when i had major issues with food) i actually want to do it for all the right reasons (and i love how while they give you recipes and what not its not very portion sized controlling... i need that little bit of release). I think im going to order the book when i order my last textbook tomorrow...
Lesson 22 made me happy and kind of sad all at the same time. It made me really happy because it gives me that glimmer of hope that the life that im living now is not it. That the world im "seeing" is just a projection of my attack minded thoughts. Now, actually truly believing this is a completely different story and i am far from it. But i like the fact that it can at least (for now) make me feel hopeful.
The reasons it makes me sad? It's what i have bubbled in the middle (and is italics in my book). I know the course is trying to teach me that to truly be happy i need to understand that all of this around me isn't real. As much as i think my life sucks at times not all of it is bad and its hard to fathom that that the good things aren't real (or that they are somehow a form of vengeance).
And as for the title of this blog post? Well i've had Rise Against's "Swing Life Away" stuck in my head for a very long time and its just been popping into my head a lot recently. I know they are a very political band (part of the reason why i love them) but if you want to stretch it or interpret it differently you can kind of make it ACIM related. (Maybe if i have some free time this week i'll dissect the song and point out what parts i think are applicable to what parts of the course).
My mom is in town visiting me for the day so there will be no "people you should know" post this week. (There will be one next week though it might be later in the day since next Saturday is the DC area HerFuture meetup!) Enjoy your weekend and tomorrow Lessons 21 & 22 should be up.
^--- Taken around Nov of 2008 i think. Me my mom and little sis
... to his deaf wife. (Ok, bad joke i know but i had to do it).
A short post today as i am prepping for my mom to drive in tomorrow to visit me... yay! (And im not just going "yay" because she offered to buy me 1-2 weeks worth of groceries... although it does help).
Also, if more of the lessons are going to be like this (where they encourage you to tell yourself that you want to see twice an hour) i really need to get in the habit of lugging (seriously, this book is thick and huge) my book with be in my bag when i go to work. I've put it in my bag a handful of times its just since i have to get up wicked early i use my bus ride to work to nap and do my morning meditation (since i dont always have time to do my morning meditation at work). If there was a little paperback with just the lessons in it that i could throw in my bag i would be all over it (and will probably be checking amazon later tonight).
And a random aside. Whenever i would remind myself of the days morning meditation intention "i will not let me ego get the best of me and i will see only love" during work this song liked to pop up in my head...
The semester has started for me so you guys will have to give me a few weeks to figure out when i can fit in my blogs in between a full load of classes and 30+ hours a week at work (and dont forget the kickball!) I Will still post all of my lesson notes its just they most likely wont be daily (and i still want to keep my meatless monday segment and my "person you should know" segment that i do over the weekend). Thursdays might be my "weekend off" from blogging since it is the one day where i work and then go straight to school and am not done with classes till 9:50 pm! I love you all but a girl has to get her sleep.
But on to the lessons...
Now, these lessons didn't necessarily hurt my brain like others. It's more like the concept of joint minds or joint consciousness seems completely foreign and science fictiony to me. And since minds are joined there are no private thoughts... (which totally threw me for a loop). I know im not meant to understand or even grasp these concepts yet, im just wondering when they're not going to seem so out there for me...
Hehe, oh ya, like the doodles in lesson 19? This is what i do in class when i get bored. The lesson didnt bore me, but when trying to read the "Text" before class today it was putting me to sleep *silly ego* so i decided to doodle instead to jog my brain back to being away. (I never doodle first and then do my notes inside the doodle. I always start to write my notes first, doodle, and then do both at the same time. Maybe throughout this semester i shall share some of my handy work).
Since Blogger isn't as awesome as wordpress there are no handy dandy apps to let me blackout my blog for the day. So in solidarity i will not be posting on Wednesday, January 18. (But will post my days notes on thursday).
Hey, i thought i was being kind of witty at least with my post title. (If you didnt laugh blame it on the fact that im writing this, like i do with most of my other posts, right before i go to bed).
No brain hurting this time around, just lots of pondering about the word "neutral." Lesson 16 says you can have no neutral thoughts, and lesson 17 says you can see no neutral things, so is there ever such a thing as neutral in anything in life? (Something i will again have to ponder when i am not so sleepy).
Lesson 16 notes
Lesson 17 notes
And for those of you that are reading my lesson 17 notes and are like "who in the hell is Mr Snuggles" this is him...
This guy has seen the world! He has been with me to Iraq, Kuwait, Germany, Ukraine, and all over the U.S. He refuses to be in checked baggage and must always travel in a carry-on. (Even going to Iraq he was in my day-pack). He loves Starbucks so much so that my own mom got Mr Snuggles a gift card to Starbucks for Christmas. (Yes, it was actually addressed to him. My own boyfriend will even contribute to his backstory...
So that shows you that even for a stuffed animal he kind of plays an important role in my life... Maybe he should get his own "people you should know" post... lol. (And did i mention that he helped co-author a NaNoWriMo novel? Trust me, he as a very long and detailed backstory).
So last week while looking up recipes for green juices i randomly remembered how tasty the kale chips i had were at an event at Elizabeth's Gone Raw over a year ago. Not wanting to pay $7 for a small bag at whole foods i decided to google kale chip recipes and stumbled upon a recipe from Kath Eats Real Food. I made a few personal modifications and came out with this...
It may not look like it from the picture but they actually do come out of the oven crispy and do kind of crunch like potato chips (really, tasty, way better for you potato chips). But i am getting a head of myself here... let me give you Kath Eat's recipe and i will also give you notes on my personal modifications.
Preheat oven to about 375* Yup, this is what i did.
Use about 1 OXO salad spinner’s worth of kale (which was a stuffed grocery store veggie bag). Tear the leaves off the thick stems into bite size pieces. Spread out on cookie sheets. I don't have a salad spinner so i just tore off enough leaves till it filled a regular sized cookie pan.
Drizzle with about 2 tsp of olive oil I wound up using about 1 tablespoon of coconut oil. I like the taste better.
Sprinkle with Parmesan, Asiago or your seasonings of choice. Plus a sprinkle of kosher salt. In the particular batch that i have pictured i sprinkled it with chili powder, minced garlic, parmesan cheese, and sea salt. Very tasty...
Bake for about 15 minutes, until edges are brown and kale is crispy when moved in pan. Maybe it's just my oven but i usually wind up baking them for about 17 minutes. I also like my mine extra krispy.
Often times a pan of kale chips and a fresh green juice winds up being my dinner after a long day at work (not the best i know but the combo is just so darn tasty and satisfying). I've also had a lot of fun trying different combinations of toppings for my kale chips (which i hope to share with you guys on future meatless mondays provided they actually turn out well and taste good).
Speaking of, im actually out of kale and now have a hankering for them just by writing about them. If any of you try out this recipe let me know how it turns out for you. Or if you come up with an awesome combination of seasoning let me know that too!
Toddles!
P.S. PureGlow16 has an awesome section on her blog about different vegan and raw vegan recipes that i highly recommend.
*For those not familiar with Gabrielle Berstein's work, ~ing means inner guide/inner compass*
So today started out awesome. Since it takes me around 1.5 hours by bus to get to work in the morning i use this time to chill out to some music, maybe listen to one of Gabby's lectures, and just kind of zone out or even meditate. During this zoning out time all of a sudden i came up with an amazing domain name for my blog (and subsequently thanked the universe because the domain name i originally wanted when i started this blog, was unable to be transferred over from my old blog). Work went well, and my kickball team won their second game in a row. Chillaxing at home after even went well. Then i got to todays lesson...
I apologize for the expletives and near expletives written in my notes for today. But this lesson just did not sit well with me at all. I can not grasp even a centimeter of this concept and know that it will be something i have to work on/at for an extremely long time. I am having a hard time grasping the idea that my eye's are not seeing but are only creating images. I don't know, it's just something i do not get right now.
The one part that gave me a little bit of hope was "you will begin to understand it when you have seen little edges of light around the same familiar objects which you see now." I hope that that is true and if any of you are experienced students of ACIM please tell me what your experiences are with this if you have any.
But to put myself in a better mood after i went on youtube and listened to some of my favorite songs (which i will now share with you).
A Day To Remember - If It Means A Lot To You
All Time Low - Remembering Sunday
^--- one of my all time favorite songs. so much so that
my boyfriend learned it on the guitar just so he could
play it for me over skype since he's stationed on the
other side of the country from me (and is sadly for me deployed
right now).
White Tie Affair - Take It Home
Mayday Parade - Jamie All Over
^--- Long story but this is me and my bf's song...
I would also like to publicly thank Danielle Boonstra for leaving me with this tidbit on the blogpost i made on HerFuture showing my week in review of my lesson notes...
"I love that you do this! And remember, as long as you're doing these with your ~ing and forgiving yourself along the way you are doing it correctly!!! xoxoxo"
Hey guys! Sorry i didn't post yesterday but i so needed that night out with my friend. I had a blast, rotated between my "drinks" and water and was able to wake up this morning feeling pretty amazing actually. But let us get back to business here.
Lesson 13 really hit it home for me. While i wouldn't say i yet recognize that this world is meaningless (as i type this im still like "how can it be?") going through these exercises in trying to recognize that this world is meaningless has aroused intense anxiety in me. I won't re-hash the anxiety i had during lesson 8 but even just trying to grasp the concept of this world being meaningless brings up a lot of intense emotions for me. I did like though how it explained why we might feel this anxiety and it actually helped this lesson go relatively smoothly for me.
Lesson 14 was kind of a different story though...
Ok, i could initially understand that "god did not create a meaningless world" because why would anything meaningless be created to begin with. But again the exercise in this lesson brought up a lot of intense emotions and anxiety for me as i started to do it. Lets look at one of my examples... say starving children. They are out there, it sucks and is unfair that they are starving, how can they be meaningless and therefor not be real. Why are they here in this world then?
I know, i know, its the same non understanding that comes up in all of the lessons that i cant really grasp. The only difference now is that even if the lessons do bring about bouts of anxiety i can recognize the emotion, realize that i do not have to understand or even "get" the lesson so long as i just do them, and then move on... it's going to be a long, hard, journey but the rewards and miracles will be worth it.
*Like the sparkly purple pen i used? I couldn't find a regular pen in my room and this was the first one that i found. Kind of makes the lessons fun. I should go out this next week and look for more.*
^---A fan made video to Yellowcard's song "Believe." The refrain is a personal mantra of mine that i repeat to myself when things seem to suck.
*no worries... my ACIM post will be up later tonight after i do todays lesson*
Much like Katie Hoffman i dont quite remember how i came across Em. (Though im pretty sure it dealt with me randomly stumbling upon her on twitter i think). Either way, as soon as i came across her on twitter i saw that she had a blog and i of course had to check it.
My first thoughts were, "oh my gosh, its pink and colorful and just looking at her blog makes me happy." (Which it does). Also, the first post of hers i read was her green smoothie review which actually inspired me to make my own green smoothies and green juices. (I tend to lean more to the green juices since my roomie has a juicer and our blender kind of sucks). She also has a TON of tasty looking vegan recipes on her blog (she has a link to a cheese nip recipe that i so want to try).
Also, did i mention that she is only 16!
Yes, 16. Im trying to look back at myself from when i was 16... There is no way in hell that a) i could keep up a consistent blog at 16 b) be interested in vegetarianism (that didn't really happy till college for me) let alone vegan and actually stick with it (even now i unfortunately love my cheese way to much). Also, just the insight that she has about herself and her experiences... seriously, no way was i like that when i was 16.
Also, on the right side of her blog under "blogs i heart" is an amazing selection of fun health/fitness type blogs and im still going through them to see which ones i want to follow. So seriously, check out her blog, follow her on twitter (when she reaches 500 followers she says she is going to do a giveaway... yay!) and/or check out her youtube page and show her some love.
*Also, while googling her blog i came across a guest blog post she did this past summer about her summer tips for a pure glow. I loved it and hope to see more of her around the internet.*
While lesson 11 wasn't as brain hurting as lesson 8 it still left me feeling kind of funny. Then along came lesson 12 and i almost felt kind of lighter...
I really think the last caption i wrote from the course sums it all up. If you (I) could accept that this world is meaningless (an illusion... its still gonna take me a lot of time to grasp that concept) and instead of righting false/meaningless truths upon the world let it be written for us then we would be infinitely happier! (Hell, i know i would). I still have a long ways to go and a lot of things to work on but this lesson kind of gave me hope that things will get better...
And on a blog keeping note... there may or may not be a post on friday (no worries, im not taking a day off from my lessons). One of my best friends from college is driving in to see me and we're going out friday night. I'll finish my lesson before they come over but because i have to get ready and all that girly nonsense i might not have time to get a post up. (It will be interesting to see how many of the lesson prompts come up when im out and how often i'll mentally repeat them to myself).
No big long blog posts today or major revelations as i have to get to sleepy land for my early work day tomorrow. (But i figured for those of you that are going through ACIM you might want to see my notes for today). While my head doesn't feel like exploding like it did with lesson 8, im still having a hard time grasping that my thoughts or really anything having to deal with what i see, feel, think, etc is meaningless...
Phew! Crisis averted. (And if you have no idea what im talking about, read my post about my experience with lesson 8 in ACIM). So after feeling totally lost after lesson 8 i made a post on the ACIM power posse on HerFuture and i also made a post on MiracleShare (its a social networking site for those studying ACIM... i totally recommend it) expressing my frustration and asking for help.
I want to give a special thanks to Corrine Zupko for answering my frustrations in a way i could understand followed up by:
Definitely don't sweat it! Understanding comes in phases. Whatever you get, you get, and whatever you don't, you don't, and it's ALL good! You are exactly where you are supposed to be.
Not that i should need it but it was like i was given permission to not fully understand it if i couldn't... which lifted a huge weight off of me. Some of the concepts she gave me almost literally blew my mind (check out the Workbook group on MiracleShare to see the full responses of what Corrine and others gave me) and even now i still can't fully wrap my head around them. But i realize its ok that i don't grasp it yet and that i am where i am supposed to be.
Now, on to lessons 9 & 10
Hehe, you do not know how much of a relief it was when i started working on lesson 9 and in the lesson it said "these exercises are concerned with practice, not with understanding." (I wish it would have told me that yesterday... then again, i wouldn't have gained the lesson that it was ok not to understand everything).
Lesson 10 builds off of lesson 4 most directly. In lesson 4 it dealt with thoughts in general (this/these thoughts) where as in lesson 10 its more direct/personal as we say "my thoughts" instead of generalizing them. It also ties into lesson 1 (as i annotated somewhat in my written notes). In lesson one what we "saw" doesn't mean anything just like our "thoughts" don't mean anything in lesson 10. (Kind of feels like my mind is putting together a puzzle).
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In case your mind needs a break from thinking as well... It's so cute and fluffy!!!
And in a random aside... i made kale chips today! Seriously, they were so wicked tasty that i think later this week they should get their own blog post.
*To those of you that our following my journey through ACIM have no fear... I will be posting my notes from lesson 9 tomorrow along with my notes from lesson 10. I'm trying to branch out my blog without making it to cluttered with multiple posts a day.*
Meatless Monday's doesn't really mean or do anything for me as every meal of every day is already Meatless Monday (i've been a vegetarian for a number of years). But i figured since i am vegetarian, once a week i could share a meal that i ate (and really enjoyed) to possibly inspire non vegetarians to go meatless on monday's or just try out something veg friendly.
Today's meal (as in i actually ate it for lunch today) was a Quorn Chik'n Quesadilla...
The first thing some of you may be thinking is, "What the hell is Quorn?"
"There are believed to be over 600,000 varieties of fungi in the world, some of which are the most sought-after foods, such as mushrooms and truffles. The principal ingredient in all Quorn products is mycoprotein (“myco” is Greek for “fungi”). The mycoprotein comes from Fusarium venenatum, which was originally discovered growing in a field in Buckinghamshire, England. In the late 1960s, initial product development began, and mycoprotein’s potential as an efficient and nutritious protein source was soon recognized."
Now i know the description kind of gives it an "ick" factor but it is actually quite tasty. For todays meal i sprayed it with canola oil and sprinkled it with sea salt, pepper, and chili powder. Cook it in the oven at 400 degrees F for 18 minutes (turning over the patty after 9 minutes) and voila! You have the chik'n part of the meal.
Everything else was really quite simple. While the chik'n was cooking i shredded the cheese (i love Cabot seriously sharp cheddar) and lightly toasted the tortilla shells in a frying pan on the oven. (If i had any peppers i would have chopped them up to throw in the mix as well). After the chik'n was done i chopped it up, mixed it up with the cheese, tossed it in between two tortilla shells, and cooked it for about a minute on each side before it was done. The end result being what you saw in the first picture of this blog...
Also in somewhat related Meatless Monday news...
My roomie gave me her old juicer (how did i not know she even had one?) I am very interested in making fresh juices and green smoothies so now im looking for awesome recipes for both. So if any of my lovely readers have ideas of websites or books i should look into please leave a note in the comments section and i will be extremely grateful.
So when i read the title/main idea of the chapter "my mind is preoccupied with past thoughts," i was like "Ok, i understand and can get behind this." Then i actually started reading the lesson and im not gonna lie, i was getting pissed.
^--- WTF was my first thought
I am angry and i am confused. The lesson says that thinking about the past is to think about illusions and that when you are picturing the past your mind is actually blank because it is not really thinking about anything. Again let me say it, WTF! I lived, i experienced, those things happened, how are they illusions?
Is there some huge concept here that i am missing because even after doing the exercise i feel hurt/angry/confused. I almost kind of feel like it was a personal attack on me. Like telling me everything that i have done and lived is a lie. What thoughts that we have are real and true thoughts then?
I need help with this one. If anyone has any idea or clarifications they can offer me i would be most appreciative to hear them.
I forgot how exactly i came across Katie Hoffman (i think it was a combination of twitter and herfuture.com) but i became addicted to her blog and youtube (even though she doesnt have many videos up) right away. She has such an energy about her and an infectious personality you can't help but want to be friends with her. She blogs in a way that really resonates with me and is totally someone i would want to be friends with.
Well, right now she is holding a raffle to help raise money for her new online venture (iamkatiehoffman.com/) which she says will be a site dedicated to living your life to the fullest in many different aspects. Tickets are $5 and the prize... an iPod touch! (Seriously? How awesome is that?) To get the full lowdown you can visit her blog post for all the details. (She's also doing a bunch of cool extra's like if you spend $25 in tickets you'll get a custom made inspiration postcard and if you buy $100 worth of tickets you will also get a free one hour life coaching session).
Another awesome reason to support her in this endeavor? 10% of all raffle ticket proceeds will go to FeedingAmerica.org. So you have an opportunity to win an iPod touch, help an amazing women launch her online venture, and help those who are in need all at the same time!
So if you have the resources buy a ticket (i am a struggling college student so i can really only afford one) and know that not only are you doing it for yourself, but you are helping others in the process!
No, i'm not taking an entire day off from my lessons... but since i do have the day off from work and all i've really been posting are my lessons from ACIM i figured you might want to learn a little bit more about the person behind the blog... (And on subsequent weekends you will be able to find similar posts, or just random posts i think might be fun, inspiring, etc).
So Who Is The Caffeinated Cupcake?
Well first off, most of my friends call me Torri...
And for fun i play in a kickball league (and i'm not gonna lie, my team is pretty good... we're also good at flip cup too).
^--- I'm the girl in the awesome hat in case you can't tell...
And this past Valentines Day, i decided to dress up in a lot of red and white cupid/angel wings and go for a run around Washington DC because i thought it would brighten peoples day...
And im not gonna lie. Under normal circumstances i would have never done something like that. But i was just overwhelmed with this feeling (which i can now look at call my ~ing) and i was like "Well f#ck it, i better do this before i can talk myself out of it." After i was done i was like "I can't believe i just did that." And you know what? I think it did brighten peoples day. I had people honking their horn at me (in solidarity, not because of anything bad), giving me the thumbs up, and even some bewildered looks on peoples faces. (Well, i did go running up to the steps of the U.S. Capitol Building... hehe). So all in all i called it as a success...
I hope all of you are having an enjoyable weekend and if you are not working (like i had to yesterday) i hope you are able to relax a little bit and carve out some "you" time. As for me? It's the first day of the winter kickball season so i will be enjoying myself there before returning home to work on Lesson 8 in ACIM.
Woohoo! It is only a mild milestone but as of todays lessons i have done 7 lessons in 7 consecutive days. My goal is to go through all of the lessons this year (but that does not mean the learning stops there... I have a feeling i will keep revisiting these lessons for years to come).
Todays lesson was particularly interesting. I always start off my notes with putting the lesson #, the date, and the lesson name/concept (whatever you would like to call it) and as you can tell i was like "WTF" right away. Before reading any of the lesson of course my ego was like "How can you see only the past. Even if it is just a split second you are currently being and seeing in the present. What in the hell is this book trying to teach you." I then told my ego to go f#ck itself (hey, its my blog, and i write how i want) and continued on.
I really liked the example it gave about seeing a cup. Are you really seeing the cup or are you just going over in your head and reviewing what you have been taught is a cup and what it is used for. As the book says "what do you know about this cup except what you learned in the past?"
It is true. All of what we know is rooted in time. And since we base everything we know now based off of experiences from the past we there for see only in the past because that is all we know (though i wonder how they would account for time machines).
Short and sweet blog post because i have an early day at work tomorrow (yes sadly, i have to work on a saturday). But i still wanted to post my notes for those of you that are also working through A Course In Miracles. Suffice to say my ego was screaming at me through this entire exercise and i think its something i will have to keep working on.
Ok, so yesterday my head started to hurt because i was having a hard time wrapping my thoughts (haha... if you don't get it, never mind) around how my thoughts don't mean anything. I grasped the concept but i was still like "i'll do the exercises but how can one's thoughts not mean anything?" Today my head was hurting for a completely different reason.
Today's lesson dealt with telling ourselves that we are never upset for the reason that we think. What got my confused for what felt like a good 10-15 minutes was paragraph two:
"When using the idea for today for a specific perceived cause of an upset in any form, use both the name of the form in which you see the upset, and the cause which you ascribe it to."
And the examples it gave was:
"I am not angry at ____ for the reason i think.
I am not afraid of ____ for the reason i think."
What confused the hell out of me was what it meant by "the name of the form in which you see the upset" and "the cause which you ascribe it." After leaving it alone for a few moments it hit me! In the examples angry and afraid are "the name of the form in which you see the upset" and the ___ is the cause.
So if you look at my examples in my notes at the first one... "pissed" would be "the name of the form in which you see the upset" (pissed is the kind/form of upset that i perceive) and "my boss" is "the cause which you ascribe it." (i am perceive myself to be pissed because of my boss). I also underlined the form and cause in my other examples in my notes in case you are like me and have a hard time wrapping your head around the wording in the lesson like i did.
(And please, don't get snippity with me about her use of the term Goddess. I can't speak for her but i view it as a term for to empower other women so just let it be at that).
It is so super colorful and fun and resonates with me on so many planes. (Also if you get the chance... listen to her soul sister sessions on her podcast... her laughter and personality are infectious). It's actually a 100+ page pdf file and not an actual book book. What im doing is printing the pages out (20 a day till i get all of them... don't want to kill my printer just yet), cutting each page individually with squiggles around it (why, because its fun and i can), and then pasting it into a sketch book. That way it gives the guidebook more heft and last power and i can draw all around it, write outside the lines, and journal along with the workbook... (And i have to give credit where credit is due... i got the idea for this from amandapearl2 on youtube).
And "ssshhhh" don't tell them, but when i was on the ACIM study group call (want in? join HerFuture and click to join the ACIM power posse and all the details are in there) last night, when they were reading i was following along in the book and cutting out my pages at the same time (but i was on mute so they never knew... hehe).
You can either find me attacking my growing to-read list, tending to my vegetable garden, or dreaming up the best snacks to make in my dehydrater. My head is always in the clouds and my mind never shuts off.